Should I Medicate my Child with ADHD?
- Tasha Milligan
- Apr 3
- 10 min read
ADHD is a common issue with children today. Parents are often challenged with the decision about whether medication is right for their child. In my 12 years of clinical experience, my answer would be maybe. Helpful, right? This article will get into many of the underlying issues and challenges children with ADHD face, alternative treatment options, and how to know when it is time to choose medication.
e hallmark symptoms for children with ADHD include inattention and impulse control problems. Parents often also struggle with defiance, inability to complete tasks, disorganization, and struggling to find balance. Children with ADHD often crave screen time and struggle to take care of their responsibilities. Parenting can be a real challenge, as parents must follow up and ensure things are getting done constantly. Power struggles often arise, leading to conflict in the home.
Medication appeals to many to offer fast relief, but side effects are often a concern. Many of the medications suppress the child’s appetite and can lead to issues with the child’s weight. Additionally, many parents want their children to learn to cope with their challenges to help them in the long run. Medication may be the best option for your child, but there may be other things that could work as well.
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Diet:
The American diet is unfriendly to children with ADHD. My experience has been that many, if not most, children with ADHD also have significant food sensitivities and triggers. Red food dyes are at the top of my list to explore. There is ample research to support that they are linked to aggressive behavior in children. Yellow and blue food dyes are also linked to increased issues with attention and focus in children. Simply cutting out food dyes can make a significant difference for children.
Another issue is that our food is not real food. If a food label indicates the food is full of chemicals, it will likely cause issues with your children. Our bodies are not designed to digest these chemicals, which can result in a myriad of health issues. One significant issue is damage to the gut. The microbiome of the gut is necessary for proper digestion, but also for hormonal balance, emotional wellbeing, proper sleep patterns, and many other issues.
Proper nutrition is vital for the body to work properly. When a child is not getting the right nutrients, issues will arise. When the body is lacking certain nutrients, it can result in significant problems with emotions and focus. You may consider a high-quality multivitamin to aid in nutrition. I’d also highly recommend looking into MTHFR, a common gene mutation that can lead to many mental health issues.
DO: Eat plenty of meat, fruits and vegetables. Teach your children to drink water. Save flavored drinks for special occasions.
DON’T: Eat packaged foods, sodas, and foods ladened with preservatives, herbicides, and pesticides.
**My life hack is shopping at Aldi. They are the cheapest grocery store in my area, and they have banned food dyes from all of their store brand products. They have also banned the most harmful pesticides and herbicides from their produce.
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Parenting Techniques
Parenting a child with ADHD is not for the faint of heart. I know from experience. Some parents are punitive and extremely hard on their children, hoping they can break them from their ADHD ways. This often leads to a breakdown in the relationship and tons of frustration. On the other hand, some parents are extremely permissive and do not set appropriate expectations for their children. This can be equally troublesome and result in a child being ill-equipped to handle real-world responsibilities. While ADHD can make tasks harder, these children are not inept and unable to do things. They are quite capable and need to learn to overcome their challenges.
Structure
Children with ADHD often function best in a structured environment. A predictable schedule helps them stay on track and keeps them from overindulging in things like screen time. While children with ADHD struggle with focus at school, they have the ability to hyperfocus on things that appeal to them. This side-effect can be a huge bonus if they aim it in a healthy way. They have the bull-dog determination to stay after something long after others would have given up.
Redirection
Redirection is a major parenting hack. If your go-to parenting style is to dish out a punishment every time your child messes up, you and your child will be exhausted! Redirection is often all it takes to get kids back on track for minor violations. It is often a “this not that” approach. An example may be that your child sits down to play video games, and you challenge him to jump on the trampoline instead. Perhaps your child grabs a cookie, and you intervene and offer an apple instead.
Re-dos:
In school, children learn by repetition. They have to do the same thing repeatedly before absorbing the information. We often forget this as parents. We get so frustrated when our child messes up. Again. An alternative way to look at parenting is that mistakes are learning opportunities. When your child messes up, it allows you to help them think through what they did, what went wrong, and what they can do differently next time.
An example might be that your child is frustrated and is speaking disrespectfully. Instead of yelling at her to go to her room, a better alternative is to tell her to redo her conversation with appropriate words. This challenges her to learn to communicate her emotions in a healthy way.
This can also apply to repairing relationships. Let’s say your child hits his brother. A breach in the relationship occurred, and something needs to happen to make things right again. I believe an apology is helpful but not enough to restore relationships. Maybe he can offer a gift? Maybe an act of service? Maybe an apology letter with a list of all the things he loves about his brother?
These learning opportunities help children problem-solve and provide the tools necessary for them to grow in empathy, foster healthy relationships, and break down negative patterns of behavior. For children with ADHD who struggle with impulse control, these skills can help them learn to stop and think before they act.
DO: Be supportive and empathetic while also providing healthy boundaries and structure. Always remember, your children will do what you do, not what you say.
DON’T: Punish your child for things they cannot control. Also, avoid extremes in parenting by being too passive or harsh.
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Screen Time:
Research indicates that screen time can be a huge problem for all of us, but especially for our children. Children learn through play and interacting with the world around them. This play is vital for motor skill development, social development, and attachment with their caregivers. Screen time significantly restricts children's play time and offers a cheap substitute. They FEEL like they are playing, but they are not getting the play experience they need.
The neural pathways in the brain grow at a rapid rate throughout childhood, but especially in the first years of life. Screen time can significantly disrupt the natural process of neurodevelopment and can make children so used to the constant sensory exposure that they get from videos and games, making them struggle to slow down with less stimulating activities such as reading.
Screen time addiction is a real problem. When children play video games, brain scans show that they light up with dopamine releases, similar to what you would see with a drug addict getting high. When the screens are removed, they go through a dopamine withdrawal. Children will often scream, cry, act out in defiance, and have huge emotional meltdowns when they crave their next dopamine fix.
Further, when kids play war games, the fight or flight response is triggered as though they were actually experiencing an attack. Long-term exposure can lead to adrenal fatigue. In the short term, children often struggle with managing their anger outbursts and behaving in a rational way.
From a social perspective, there is ample evidence that social media exposure is harmful to children and leads to all sorts of emotional issues. Online social engagement is artificial and often quite harmful. Online bullying is rampant due to a lack of consequences for their behavior and a false sense of security from hiding behind a screen. Children commonly look to likes on social media posts for a feeling of significance and worth. This misplaced identity can be detrimental.
If there is anything we learned from the pandemic, it is that connecting through a screen is not nearly as beneficial as meeting in person. People have a basic need to connect with other human beings. We need touch, comfort, encouragement, and interaction. You can glean so much more from in-person engagement than you could ever experience through a screen. Screens deprive you of experiencing the energy and physical presence of others.
A final but truly alarming issue with screen time is the issue of pornography. Children are being exposed to sexual images earlier than ever. Children are receiving messages through their favorite games, created for young children, with links to pornography. Ads are showing up on innocent children’s games and videos with links to games that are obscene. I have seen pornography pop-ups on videos made for children.
Once sexual desires are awakened, they may not go away. Children are engaging in sexual activity and young ages, long before they have an understanding of sex, risks, and ways to control their bodies. This concern is even more problematic for children who already struggle with impulse control. Limiting screen time can save your child from a myriad of issues.
In my professional experience, taking away screen time can be a cure-all. It is difficult and will often be met with high resistance, but the payoff can be worth it. For children with screen addiction, be prepared for a few days of meltdowns and huge emotions as their bodies readjust to not having huge dopamine releases. I’d recommend scheduling the removal of the screens for a weekend you can fill with fun and engaging activities.
DO: Offer minimal screen time and offer rich and engaging alternative activities. Focus on building a relationship with your child and nurturing their interests.
DON’T: Allow unlimited screen time or unsupervised access to the internet. I’d also recommend banning social media until high school. Even then, it is risky!
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Exercise:
All children need plenty of exercise to be healthy. For children with the hyperactive form of ADHD, it is vital. They need a healthy outlet for their energy. Many of them also seem to have a ton of pent-up aggression they want to release. If it is not aimed in a healthy way, it can come out as fights at school, damaging property, or as a hateful attitude.
It is natural for boys to be aggressive and engage in rough-and-tumble play. Our society has started to frown on this behavior, but it is part of who they are. Boys have an innate sense of being a warrior. When they learn to use this aggression in a healthy way, they often grow in confidence and ability. However, when they are shamed, it can lead to an identity crisis and a feeling of worthlessness.
Outdoor, unstructured play is ideal. While there are certainly benefits to playing sports on teams, it does not allow for creative play and exploring. If your child does play sports, I would highly encourage leaving time for unstructured outdoor play. Children usually know exactly what they need. Some days, you may find him mindlessly playing in a quiet spot and, at other times, running and jumping wildly. Either way, the grounding effects of outdoor play coupled with the sunlight on the skin results in reduced stress and has health benefits.
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Counseling
There are so many ways counseling can be beneficial to children with ADHD! We work on coping skills, social skills, emotional vocabularies, impulse control, and much more! While counseling cannot cure ADHD, we can help children develop skills to cope with their symptoms, learn to consider the consequences of their behavior and rescript unhealthy patterns of thinking that lead to emotional and behavioral problems.
One of my go-to ways to help children with ADHD is playing games. I have a blog post about games to help children with impulse control, which you can find here. These games require children to stop, focus, and control their emotions and impulses to be able to win. When children practice these coping mechanisms in play, it will also help them use them in other situations. It will become natural for them to stop and take a breath before acting. They will learn to pay attention to their body's responses and signals. Over time, they learn proficiency in stopping and becoming aware of things around them and overcoming their thoughts and emotions.
One of the benefits of counseling is having someone knowledgeable to offer guidance and support while you work through all of the issues discussed in this article. It can be overwhelming and tedious. An outside point of view and having someone to keep things moving in the right direction can be helpful for parents. Counselors typically are familiar with normal and abnormal responses to medication. When one of my clients is starting medication, I will typically meet with parents and offer suggestions for what to look for. I will also provide feedback after sessions to discuss progress and concerns that can be shared with doctors if needed. Counselors will sometimes offer consultation with doctors to work together for the benefit of the child. Be aware that a release of information will be needed before counselors can collaborate with doctors.
As a school-based therapist, I often work as a liaison between the school and parents. I am able to work with teachers to develop a plan to help children succeed in school and I can often intervene when there are behavior issues.
DO: Allow daily outdoor, creative play. Bonus points for playtime with friends.
DON’T: Use structured sports for your child's only outdoor play.
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Is Medication the Best Choice for My Child?
Sometimes, medicine is the best option. If you have evaluated your parenting techniques, implemented healthy eating, reduced or eliminated screen time, introduced outdoor playtime, and the problems remain, medication might be necessary. While many children will no longer have a need for medication after addressing the above issues, there are many prevailing issues that are only solved by medication.
When the problems persist, I would recommend meeting with a pediatric psychiatrist to discuss medication options. Most will start with a low dose and slowly increase it until symptoms decrease. Ongoing ADHD symptoms can lead to significant problems if not addressed. I find that many children suffer from self-esteem issues and even depression due to feeling unable to meet the expectations of parents and teachers and feel like they are failing in school. Additionally, they can be at an increased risk of illicit drug use as they grow older to try to self-medicate.
Impulse control issues are also a major concern. If your child is not able to stop and think before they act, they will likely be in trouble frequently at school and at home. While the consequences of these behavior issues are concerning for elementary-aged children, the concerns grow in the teenage years. Children are bombarded with the temptation to engage in sexual behavior, drugs, criminal activities, and many other vices. If your child is not able to stop and think, the outcome could be grim.
In conclusion, making the decision about whether or not to medicate your child can be challenging. I hope this article has been helpful in understanding your options as well as the potential risks of not fully addressing ADHD symptoms.
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